


For Once in My Life

by Malec_ST



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Gay, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, M/M, Romance, positive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21552904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_ST/pseuds/Malec_ST
Summary: Alexander Lightwood returned home from another deployment and was starting to imagine life after retirement with his boyfriend when it all came crushing down.Mending a broken heart, he met Magnus Bane, a son of an Indonesian migrant, who invaded his world unexpectedly but knew it was all short lived.A Malec fan fiction inspired by music from Stevie Wonder.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 14
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HEAVY CONTENT AHEAD FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!

Alec remembered it was one of those rare gorgeous sunny days that reminded him that Spring was finally here. He remembered how he felt the calmness when he could see dust flying through the sun rays that shone through the windscreen of the car when he arrived home from his longest and toughest deployment yet. 

The 15 months he’d recently spent in Iraq was miserable - the tougher environment and having to lose one of his closest teammates, Andrew Underhill, in an unexpected blast was beyond depressing. The sense of despair clouded his mind and he had never felt so much sorrow and so homesick before. 

Mourning the loss of a loyal teammate and sore from exhaustion, he started to think about his future. Having served the army for the past eight years, he started to think about retiring and starting a family with his boyfriend James. 

He had been seeing James for three years now, in which half the time he was away on deployment, where he had always missed him terribly. He was a hopeless romantic who had always wanted nothing but a loving partner whom he would be able to spend the rest of his life with building a family and he thought James would be the one, for sure. 

He hadn’t even said hi to his family yet, and he had already drove his mother’s car out to downtown Brooklyn to look for his boyfriend. He couldn’t wait to jump on him, kiss him like never before and talk to him about marriage. 

The car pulled to a stop at James’ apartment, in which he was always at whenever he was back in the States, holding a small bouquet of flowers he had picked up on the way in one hand, and unlocking the door with his spare set of keys with another hand, hoping to sneak into the house secretly and couldn’t wait to see James’ face when he sees him. 

But he vividly remember as soon as he stepped into the house, he heard loud moaning coming from the room as he walked cautiously towards the room to find James having sex with another guy - a guy unknown to him. 

He dropped the flowers and stormed out of the apartment in tears. James did not even come after him - all he did was sending him a simple text apologising and telling him he was lonely. 

Agony and fury took over him... Did James really think he wasn’t lonely out in Iraq? Did James think there were zero temptation out there? 

He had been holding on to James and thought he would do the same for him, only to be disappointed and betrayed in the worst way possible. 

Whatever happened after that was all a blur to him. He arrived home and there was a mini homecoming party threw by his sister Isabelle and her boyfriend Simon, he drank and drank and drank and then here he was lying on his bed, staring up at the empty ceiling, feeling sad for himself. 

He questioned everything that had happened to him, he questioned god, although he never truly was very religious, why was he given so much of suffering the past few years? Why did his world had to be so cruel and mean to him? Why was it so unfair? Why? 

The sleeping pills must have been kicking in because he felt his eye lids getting heavier and heavier. 

“Alec... What the fuck? How many of these have you taken?” He heard Isabelle screaming but he couldn’t remember if he had said anything to her. 

“Mom! Mom! Call 911!” He heard more of Isabelle’s shouting before all the sound were drowned away along with his consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

_Very superstitious_   
_Writing’s on the wall_   
_Very superstitious_   
_Ladders bout’ to fall_

Magnus was singing and grooving along to Stevie Wonder’s _Superstitious_ blasting out in the food truck he just rented for the Spring Night Market happening in a week time.

His fingers were tapping on the steering wheel excitedly as he sang; the early spring breeze and wonderful scent from the blooming flowers that sipped into the car through the little gap at the window he had left open slightly only made him smile in complete glee.

Magnus was so happy and relaxed he couldn’t even remember when was the last time he felt like this or was so stoked about work.

Growing up in a typical Asian family, as the only child to his first generation migrant parents, he had followed almost every single path his parents had set up for him - studied hard, scored well in college and secured a stable job with a good income.

But for almost six years working as an accountant in one of the big four accounting firms in New York City, he had dreaded going to work every single day, hated the long hours working environment and hardly-there social life.

It was true that the job gave him satisfaction financially, in which he had managed to buy his first appartment in the city - a feat not many people his age was capable of. But his busy work life meant he did not even have the luxurious time to spend the money anywhere else, let alone spending time with his loved ones.

So when his father had a fall two months ago and had to close his Chinese take-out restaurant for a few weeks, he decided, just then, much to his father’s dismay, to quit his job.

He was tired and needed a well-deserved break, as well as to take care of his injured father, his only relative left, at least in the U.S.

He returned to the small suburb in Brooklyn where he had grew up in, helped to give the 10 years old run-down shop a major revamp and had so many ideas to market the restaurant to growing amount of youngsters around the area.

So he took the liberty to rent a spot at the coming Spring Night Market to hopefully introduce the restaurant to people who would be at the event and even though his father did not really share the same sentiment for such event, Magnus was all pumped-up about it.

He couldn’t wait to be there and tell people about the restaurant and spread the words about his father’s cooking, which he had enjoyed since he was a kid.

Magnus was driving past a neighbourhood en route to the restaurant when the traffic was held up for an ambulance. Curious, he winded down the window and stretched his head out to see what was going on. The ambulance was coming out from a house as he saw Maryse and Isabelle Lightwood hopping onto the ambulance.

He had came to know Maryse and Isabelle since they were quite regular at his father’s shop. They were lovely ladies and he couldn’t imagine anything bad happening to any of them. Isabelle was especially, four months pregnant and he wondered if there were issues with the baby. He found himself praying really hard that that wasn’t the case.


	3. Chapter 3

“I swear to God Alec, if you try to kill yourself again and fail, I’m gonna kill you myself,” Isabelle said while driving. “I mean for god’s sake, I’m four months pregnant and you scared the baby out of me you know that?”

“I’m sorry Izzy...” said Alec, in such soft voice it sounded like he was whispering. 

He was sitting at the passenger seat, gazing blankly at the moving view outside the window. 

“Look, I’m expecting you to be a caring uncle who will be a good example to my daughter here, I need you to be alive, I need you to be okay and help me out.”

Alec only nodded silently but he felt his sister squeezing his arm for a few seconds as she said:”I love you Alec, we all do, please, don’t do anything stupid anymore...”

A week had past since he tried to take his own life, thinking that he had nothing to look forward to in his life anymore and that he had lost all the faith he had for anybody, for love and for his life. Isabelle, who had been observing him the entire night smelt something fishy and decided to check on him and managed to save him just in time. 

He was given a longer leave after the incident before he would have to report to the headquarters for training again and Isabelle had dragged him along to the Spring Night Market where Simon, her boyfriend and father to her baby, was performing with his band. 

He only obliged to going along to avoid more nagging from both his mother and sister but moments later when they arrived at the park, he almost wanted to bail out last minute. 

It looked absolutely lovely - a park that was beautifully-set-up with lights lining up over the top with bean bags, tables and benches laid over the grass. There was a stage with a beautiful blue backdrop with fairy lights hanging around it where there was a performance going on. Simon was performing right after that, Isabelle had told him. 

He bet it may surprise Isabelle, but he was not feeling okay, he was hurting, he was in pain, and being in a crowded place with loud music wasn’t helping at all. 

“Look, I’m going to say hi to Simon first, you walk around and maybe, get yourself some food first, okay?” His sister told him before leaving him alone. 

Alec was feeling hungry so food might be the best idea right now, at least as distraction, he thought. He wandered around the rows of food trucks and booths lining up and he knew he was spoiled with choices. But he wasn’t complaining because for the past 15 months, food had been the simplest in Iraq, and so he was looking forward to different types of cuisines when he saw a Chinese food truck and immediately stopped to give the menu a check. 

He had missed Chinese food, which was funny because it had always been easy to find Chinese food at home and he used to eat them at least twice a week. But being away from home all the time really made him missed some of the simplest things in life, like some nice old sweet and sour pork. 

“Hello! What can I help you?” He heard a cheery voice asking him while he was still reading the menu board religiously. 

He moved his gaze away from the menu rather reluctantly to look up at the guy standing in the food truck and was immediately startled. 

He was an Asian, well, probably Chinese, since it was a Chinese food truck. He wore a navy blue bandana over his head, pulling his hair up, visibly showing the mole that was above his right eyebrow. He had very handsome face, ever-so-mesmerising hazel eyes and that bright smile that made him looked really youthful - although he might sound a bit older than he looked. He wore a white t-shirt with sleeves rolled-up that wrapped around his muscular arms, accentuating the strong biceps that he must have worked hard to build them. But he looked skinny, at least skinner than himself, Alec thought. 

He never thought anybody would look so effortlessly good in a plain white tee and a blue bandana. 

“Hello?” The guy asked again. 

“Oh... Urm... Sorry... I’m ah... Still looking at the menu...” Alec stuttered. 

“Hey Alec... Oh, you’ve met Magnus, haven’t you?” Isabelle came budging in. 

“Ah... Who?” He asked. 

“Magnus, he’s Mr. Bane’s son, who owns Mr. Bane Chinese take-out, just one block away from our place... Magnus, this is my brother, Alec!” Isabelle introduced excitedly. 

“Oh, hi! Pleasure!” Magnus said, as he waved awkwardly from the food truck. 

“Alec, Alexander Lightwood,” he answered, rather politely. 

“Hey Maia is here!” Isabelle ran away almost immediately when she saw Maia in the food truck, leaving Alec alone again. 

“So... Since you are Isabelle’s brother, order anything, it’s on the house!” Magnus suggested. 

“Oh you don’t have to...”

“I insist! Token of appreciation to Izzy for being a good regular at our place and such a good friend to Maia!” He said. 

“Well then, thank you! I’ll have a fried rice and sweet and sour pork please?” Alec said. 

“A fried rice and sweet and sour pork coming right up!”

Since the food were pre-cooked for the event, it only took a few seconds before Magnus handed the box of food to Alec. 

“Thank you!” 

“No problem at all!” Magnus returned with a huge beam as Alec walked away with the food and started to look for a place to sit down.


	4. Chapter 4

When Magnus handed the takeaway box to Alec, their fingers grazed briefly and Magnus felt himself gasped inwardly and could feel chills ran over his body, all the way down to his toes. He felt like a part of him literally just melted because of that slight touch of skins.

He wanted to open his mouth to talk to him more but something paralysed him inside, and the next thing he knew, Alec had walked away and disappeared in the crowd.

Since when did Isabelle has such a hot brother? It must have been the Lightwoods’ gene that made Alec so fucking hot, Magnus thought to himself.

He had this perfectly-built physique - tall, killer broad shoulder and that strikingly gorgeous face with the most captivating pair of blue eyes. Only thing bothering him was that beard that looked like he was trying to grow on purpose - Magnus thought he might be hiding more beauty under the layers of facial hair.

But was he gay? Oh, even if he was, Magnus was certain he was way out of his league.

If anything, growing up in the States as an Asian kid, he had never really consider himself attractive at all. Despite being top of the class most of the time and being fantastic at his job, he had always felt lesser when it came to his appearance. He did not remember how or who had instilled the idea to him since young that being yellow and having smaller eyes would never be defined as beautiful and that was what he had been believing in since he was a child.

And Alec, he was just way too good-looking he knew he probably stand no chance at all at getting his attention.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Maia, the girl his father hired to help at the shop elbowed him as he was lost in his thought.

“Urm... Nothing...” Magnus brushed her off, perhaps brushing off the thought of having a crush on Alec at the same time.

“You’re nervous aren’t you?”

“Huh? Nervous?”

“Yeah... Simon’s performing now, I remember you said you are up next? Don’t be nervous, you got this!” Maia punched him on the arm, reminding him that he was supposed to be preparing for his performance.

“Oh yes Maia! Please, I’ll leave the truck to you for one song okay! Will be back!” Magnus said as he took off the small apron he was wearing on his waist down, frantically untied his bandana, ruffled his hair with his fingers and rushed backstage to prepare for his performance.

All his life, he had loved music and had dreamt of becoming a performer when he was a kid. But his father never agreed with it and told him to pick something that would guarantee a better future and stable income.

He followed that order and became a boring accountant for so many years until he decided it was time to stop. He wasn’t sure what he would do next - go back to accounting or do something different? He would have to figure that out soon before he goes broke spending all his savings on a break like this.

But when Simon found out he was into performing, he offered Magnus the chance to perform a song at the event and after much considerations, he decided to grab the opportunity just for the fun and love for performing.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special performance coming up next. My dear friend, Mr. Magnus Bane!”

Magnus heard Simon’s introduction and walked up the stage slowly, his heart was pounding in a crazy pace out of nervousness. For a few seconds he felt like running away and was questioning himself about the decision to sing a solo on stage in front of so many people - for the first time in his entire life.

But it was too late now so he went on and took position in front of the microphone stand, head down, took a deep breath before nodding for the band to start playing. And as soon as the music started, he could feel himself loosening up a little bit and started to feel the ease in his heart as he swayed his body slightly.

With a hand over the microphone, another tapping his thigh to the rhythm of the music, he opened his mouth and started singing.

“ _You are the sunshine of my life_  
 _That’s why I’ll always be around_  
 _You are the apple of my eye_  
 _Forever you’ll stay in my heart_

_I feel like this is the beginning_   
_Though I've loved you a million years_   
_And if I thought our love was ending_   
_I'd find myself drowning in my own tears_

_You are the sunshine of my life_   
_That's why I'll always be around_   
_You are the apple of my eye_   
_Forever you'll stay in my heart_

_You must have known, you must have known that I was lonely_   
_Because you came to my rescue_   
_I know that this must be heaven_   
_How could so much love be inside of you, inside of you?”_

It was a rough start, like he had ran out of pitch for a bit before managing to pull it back together. When he looked into the crowd while belting out the song that he had chosen, the spotlight almost blinded him for the first few seconds. The next thing he spotted was Alec sitting not too far away with his takeaway box, looking at him, perhaps in total surprise. Why was this Chinese takeaway boy on stage, he might be thinking.

Instead of panicking, Magnus suddenly felt a sense of calmness descended over him. He put on a wide smile as he found himself singing those words to an imaginary lover, and that person, perhaps only for that night, was Alexander Lightwood.

He tried, as much as he could, to be vague about it though, only stealing glances at Alec from time-to-time, gazing elsewhere whenever possible so it wouldn’t look too obvious he was singing and staring at him. At some point though, he thought Alec was staring and smiling back at him too, but he couldn’t be sure was it just him being delusional.

The song ended before he even knew it and he was utterly surprised by not only the applause and cheering from the crowd, but at how he was enjoying himself throughout the performance. He heard a loud whistle and cheer from Maia from the food truck so he blew kisses over to her as he took a few bows before getting off the stage.


	5. Chapter 5

_You are the sunshine of my life_   
_That’s why I’ll always be around~~~_

Alec had got the same song stuck in his head since the night he spent at the Spring Night Market. And he realised that the song wasn’t the only thing he couldn’t take out of his mind.

It was Magnus.

He was in awe of his charming smile that he had flashed at him so generously and that muscular arms that would make every single man or woman drool.

He thought about his performance, and how odd his song choice was, compared to his youthful appearance. But he wouldn’t complain about it because it reminded him of his childhood spent with his late grandfather who was a huge fan of Motown music and he was utterly surprised by how they shared the same love for the same kind of music, despite not exactly coming from that particular generation.

And the image of him singing and smiling at him made his body tickle in the most peculiar manner.

But he thought about Maia, who was cheering so loudly when he was done with his performance. Was she his girlfriend? They certainly looked pretty cute together.

He couldn’t believe that he was developing an interest towards someone he just met once. What amazed him more was how his heart had been willing to move on from James so quickly. But he also knew, that deep down, he was afraid to love again, and that he might be hurt again because he did not know if he could handle another heartbreak and betrayal.

“So, Alec, have you book your appointment with the therapist?” His mother’s voice brought him back to reality as he remembered he was supposed to be engaging in a conversation with his mother and sister over breakfast instead of day-dreaming about his new crush.

“Huh? Therapist? No... I don’t really think I need to. I’m fine mom, I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me, I’ll be back at work at the headquarter soon anyway,” Alec said.

“You better be...” Isabelle snorted. “I don’t get it. I don’t even like this James too much.”

“Wh... What? I thought you guys love him?” Alec asked, confused.

“I don’t know?” Isabelle shrugged. “I just feel like he always have this vibe that he didn’t really cared about spending time with us when he knew how much family, or us two mean to you... He never, you know, make any effort talking to us and was always on his phone or in his own world... He was... Rude.”

Alec listened in surprise, but he knew Isabelle was right about James. As much as he had enjoyed his time with James, he had never really made effort when it came to things or people that he was interested in or cared about - not of any Alec’s interest in carpentry or his family that he cared about a lot, if not, the most.

“It’s alright Alec, just make sure you talk to us whenever you need someone to talk to, we will always be here,” Alec felt his mother’s warm hand holding his and it suddenly dawn on him that this was the embrace and love that he had almost forgotten when he had attempted to commit suicide. It hit him hard that if he had really died the other day it would have left his mother extremely devastated and heartbroken, especially after so many hardships she had gone through throughout the years.

Alec looked at his mother and returned with an assuring smile, while squeezing her hand.

“Yeah... I’m sure you will find someone better,” said Isabelle.

“What about you, my sassy mother-to-be sister? What’s up with you and Simon? Why aren’t you guys married yet?” He asked.

Unfazed by the question, Isabelle simply put down her cutleries and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Well, I don’t need marriage or signing of a piece of paper to show that we love each other.”

“But are you sure Simon feel the same? He looked like a nice guy who is ready to become a family man and it feels like you’re stopping him from doing that.”

The remark earned him a death stare from Isabelle and Alec smirked knowing he had just told her the obvious that she was trying to avoid.

Maryse on the other hand, was trying to hold a straight face and not laugh at how her children were behaving around each other. Seconds later she couldn’t help but snorted a little. “Okay kids, I’m going to be on a long shift today until 8.30pm, can any of you get me some dinner before I get home?”

“I’ll... I’ll do that mom... Is Chinese okay?” Alec offered, having a hidden agenda behind his mind.

“Yes! If you are talking about Mr. Bane’s, please make sure you get me some spring rolls, they are my favourite!” Maryse said, excitedly, rolling her eyes and all.

“Count me out, I’ll be with Simon... Actually... Yes, my baby girl might be hungry at night so I’ll write down some supper order for you,” said Isabelle, rubbing her belly in a circular motion while wearing a sweet smile on her face. 


	6. Chapter 6

It was Maia’s off day at the shop so Magnus had made himself available for the night to help his father out. 

After giving the few tables and chairs in the shop a round of wiping, his father, Asmodeus sat him down at the corner of the shop and handed him a red packet. 

“What’s this for?” Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Red packet, for the Lunar New Year!” Asmodeus answered, simply. 

“I haven’t gotten one from you for ages! Plus, I’m old enough, and I don’t need your money you know...”

“Well I know it was always your Ma who gave them to you but I’d like to keep the tradition... And it’s not about the money, it’s just a gesture, a good luck, for a better year!”

“Well then, thank you! Better year and better health!” Said Magnus, as he slid the red packet into his pocket. 

“You know... We stop receiving red packets when we are married... So when are you going to get married and give me some grandkids and make sure the Bane’s family name gets pass on?”

“What?” Magnus couldn’t believe what he just heard. 

“You do realise I did not agree with you being gay until gay marriage is legalised, and you can have kids, right?”

“Well I’m sorry to disappoint you Pa, but I have absolutely zero time and energy or whatsoever for love, let alone kids...” He said, fingers fiddling with the chopsticks on the table, hoping for some distractions. 

It felt extremely awkward to be talking about topic like this with his father. His relationship with his father had never been the best since he was a kid - Asmodeus was always out working hard to put food on the dinner table and when he came out as gay, his father stopped talking to him even though they were still living under the same roof. 

“True love will come, eventually. And when that person comes into your life, you’ll know, straight away, in your case, he’s the one...” Asmodeus said. 

“Ha, what do you know about true love? Weren’t you and Ma’s marriage arranged?” Scoffed Magnus. 

Asmodeus gave his son a suspicious glance. “Is that what your mom told you?”

Magnus only nodded. 

“Then she didn’t tell you the details... I was about your age, you know, almost 30 and in Indonesia back then that’s a little old to be single so your grandmother set me up with a few girls and I’ve gone to about six different dates before meeting your mom. She was... Unique...” He said, and Magnus could literally see sparks in his eyes as he spoke. “The way she carried herself, the way she dressed... It was love at first sight and trust me, I’ve never believed in that until she came along.” Asmodeus said, his lips curled up to a sweet smile causing the wrinkles around the dark skin near his eyes to appear more visible as he reminisced the first time he met his wife. 

Magnus had never seen his father talking about his love story with his mother like this before and the look on his face made him smile. All these years, he had watched American parents, both in real life and on TV, fooling around and kissing in front of their kids but his were never like that. His very traditional Asian parents, although he later understood how much they had loved each other, had never showed affection in front of him, or anyone else in public. 

It also made him think of his mother again. He had missed her very dearly since she passed away five years ago. Being the only kid and having to always stay at home with her while his father was out at work, he was extremely close to her that some of his friends back then used to tease him for being a mama’s boy - something he was never once ashamed of. 

She was gone too soon, Magnus always thought so. She was gone before she could witness him being successful at what he was doing, before she could walk him down the aisle at his wedding, before she could play with and help take care of his future children. 

But he knew, his father was all he had now and that was why he was spending more time with him despite against Asmodeus’ will. 

“And you, my son, should learn from me and never let go of the one that you feel right about,” Magnus heard his father said. 

They would have continued the conversation but the door flipped opened and they got up from their seats to attend to the customer. 

“Hi!”


	7. Chapter 7

Alec had walked into the shop half-praying that Magnus was going to be there because he was the only reason he offered to be the delivery boy of the night to his mother and sister. He wasn’t too sure yet what to feel or what he wanted out of another meeting with Magnus, but since he had impulsively offered to buy Chinese for dinner, he thought Magnus better be there.

And someone must have heard his prayer when he saw Magnus and another man stood up at a corner of the shop as soon as he pushed the door open.

“Hi!” He greeted them, trying to be subtle about the excitement of seeing Magnus.

“Hi! Alec! How are you? Pa... Have you met Alec? He is Isabelle’s brother!” Magnus introduced.

“Oh, you’re the one who came back from deployment in Iraq? Welcome home!” Asmodeus reached a hand out to shake his hand.

“Thank you...” Alec proceeded to return the hand shake with a smile.

Magnus looked utterly surprised by the new information about Alec he had just gotten from his father himself but decided to brush it away for now, as he watched his father walked into the kitchen, leaving him to take Alec’s order.

“Um... What can I get you today? I’m sure if you are getting dinner for Isabelle, it would be extra portion!” Magnus chuckled.

Alec couldn’t believe how much he was already enjoying himself being around Magnus. His beautiful hazel eyes capturing the reflection of the neon lights at the front of the shop, making them looked even more attractive. His bright smile, and even that chuckle was extremely therapeutic it felt like it could cure just about all the heartache and any illness in the universe.

“Yes Magnus, you do know my sister well... So there are quite a long list of stuff so I’ve written them down...” Alec replied, handling Magnus a piece of paper that contained all the orders for the whole family.

“Okay, won’t be a while!” Magnus said, as he too disappeared into the kitchen.

Moments later, as Alec was waiting for the family’s dinner to be ready, a text message came.

_“Hey Alec, I’ve gathered all your stuff, come and pick them up when I’m not around (and you know when is that). I’ve left your key at our secret spot. Just leave the key at the same spot when you are done.”_

Reading James’ message felt like watching a horror movie unfolding itself. He felt a pang of sickening feeling attacking him - it was a feeling he couldn’t even explain. He started to panic, his hands trembled and his phone fell onto the ground but he was so lost and numb that he did not even bothered picking it up.

“Dinner’s ready...” Magnus paused when he saw Alec looking a little oblivious, with his phone laying on the ground.

He walked closer and picked up the phone. “Are you okay?” He asked.

“Urm... Yeah... Thank you...” Alec took both the phone and the paper bag of the takeaway food, paid and dashed out of the shop without looking back at anybody at the shop.

Magnus watched, baffled, as Alec left, looking extremely lost.

“You know... That boy... Alec, right? I heard from Maia that he ah, tried to kill himself about two weeks ago...” Asmodeus said, looking at the whole incident from behind the counter.

“Really? Do you know why?” Magnus asked, jaw-hanging opened, genuinely concerned about Alec.

“Not sure... “ Asmodeus shrugged.

He blinked and suddenly remembered the incident where he saw Maryse and Isabelle rushed off from their house in an ambulance. It all made sense now - it was Alec who was rushed to the hospital and fortunately, he survived. But judging from the look on Alec’s face, something must have been, or still very much bothering him.


	8. Chapter 8

There were millions of question marks floating in Magnus’ mind when he saw Alec looking flustered and lost. 

He knew, perhaps, that he was a total stranger to Alec and that he should probably mind his own business. But any normal human being would be worried for him and he really couldn’t bear letting Alec walk home alone under such circumstances, not especially knowing the fact that he was suicidal for whatever reasons he had yet to find out. 

So with a green light from his father, he grabbed his jacket, rushed out of the shop and started walking towards the direction where the Lightwoods lived. 

It was quite a breezy night outside as the wind howled, ruining his hair and blowing his jacket that he had got no time to zip up yet. With a few quicken footsteps, he finally found Alec not too far down the road. 

“Alec! Hey! Wait up!” He yelled out, but had gotten no response from Alec. 

Judging at how disturbed Alec looked just a while ago, Magnus assumed Alec must be affected by something he was so immersed in it that he was oblivious of his environment. He sped up and got in front of Alec to stop him. 

“Hey Alec...” Magnus was taken aback as he saw streaks of tears painted all over Alec’s cheeks as his body shivered to the bad weather wearing just a t-shirt. 

“Oh my god... Are you okay?” He asked, concerned. “Here...” Magnus then took off his jacket and covered Alec. “Come on, let me walk you home...”

“It’s... It’s okay... I’m fine...” Alec said, sniffling back tears. 

“Whatever it is that is bothering you, I’m sure it will be alright soon... But I don’t think you should be alone now...”

“Leave me alone! Just fucking leave me alone, will you?” 

Stunned, Magnus had his eyes fixed at Alec, looking rather perplexed at what just happened - Alec had just yelled his lung out at him. 

Alec looked agitated but it was evident that he was still fighting against himself to not show the vulnerable side of him in front of Magnus.

“Hey...” Magnus reached a hand out to grab hold of Alec’s arm, hoping to calm him down as his voice soften. “It’s okay...”

Alec flinched at Magnus’ touch. “It’s not okay! It’s never okay! And you, out of everyone cannot tell me it’s okay!” He scoffed. “You don’t fucking have any idea how it feels like to lose someone you love and care, you won’t understand it!”

Magnus swallowed and his eyes widened listening to Alec. 

Those words came out like a million sharp swords stabbing into his heart. He was never one who loses his temper easily but this was when he realised he had had enough. 

“I don’t know what happen to you Alec, and yes, you are allowed to grief or whine about it all you want... But you have no fucking right to say that I don’t know how it feels to lose someone I love... Because I... I fucking know how it feels... I fucking know...” His words were breaking and he knew he had to stop. 

Alec looked up at him and his expression changed almost immediately seeing the sparkle in his eyes as tears welled up in those otherwise-always cheerful-looking pair of hazel eyes. 

Magnus rubbed his face, clearing tears off and without a word, turned and ran back to the shop. 

He shouldn’t have come, he thought to himself. He really shouldn’t have.


	9. Chapter 9

_What have I done?_

That was the question Alec had been asking himself since he got back from Mr. Bane’s.

The image of Magnus in tears broke his heart and the fact that it impacted him so much amazed him to an extend that it was unexplainable, even to himself.

“Hey Alec, I can’t finish this, here, finish the last Spring Roll for me, won’t you?” He heard Maryse said.

He nodded and picked the Spring Roll up with his fingers and took a bite. His mother was right, it was heavenly - crunchy and flavourful, even after about an hour. It must be even tastier if it was eaten fresh, he thought to himself.

Maryse stood up and had started cleaning the dishes when he suddenly thought about something that came into his mind. “Mom... Have you seen Mrs. Bane before?”

She turned from where she stood by the sink with a raised eyebrow. “Mrs. Bane? She passed away five years ago, I think about half a year before we moved here...”

Alec felt his jaw dropped and his body shuddered as he listened to his mother, as though he just heard some horrifying news.

“Why?” Maryse asked.

“Urm... Nothing... Just wondering...” Alec shrugged, trying to hide the worries he was having in his mind.

“I heard it was ovarian cancer, and it took her one month from diagnosis till she passed on... What I heard was that Mr. Bane and Magnus were devastated because it all came and went so quickly they weren’t prepared for any of it.”

“Oh...” Alec couldn’t find any better words to respond to any of the information he had just gotten from Maryse.

Guilt and shame swelled his throat as he started to squirm on the chair uncomfortably. How could he be so insensitive? Even if it meant he was angry and frustrated, he really shouldn’t have said anything like that. He did not know Magnus well enough to say anything like that, he thought.

“That boy... Magnus, oh god bless him... Such a good son. He quit his job and came back to take care of his dad when he had a fall two months ago. And did you see the makeover he did for the shop? Thank goodness for him, the shop looks so bright, so fresh and welcoming compared to the old, dodgy shop.”

“I gotta say though, luckily they didn’t hike up the price of the food after that renovation...” Maryse chuckled.

Alec only managed a faint smile.

 _Fuck... Magnus must have hated me_ , he thought.

He gazed away from the dining table and saw the jacket that Magnus’ had so kindly loaned to him earlier laying on the couch. It reminded him of the way Magnus looked at him with those hazel eyes full of compassion, his words and his touch was so heartfelt it felt so genuine that he was just there because he cared and was worried for him.

That was not how to return someone’s kindness and he knew something needed to be done to fix things.


	10. Chapter 10

With a flip of fingers, Magnus turned the sign hanging on the door to ‘closed’, locked the door, put on a Stevie Wonder’s song on his phone and grabbed the mop as he started mopping the floor.

What Alec just said to him few hours ago kept ringing in his head. It was extremely hard to swallow as it reminded him of the pain of losing his mother five years ago to a fatal ovarian cancer.

He was closest with his mother his entire life and she was an angel to him - someone whom he had spent a lot of time with, someone whom he could always go back to whenever he had any problems in his life. Even when he had decided to come out, she had never given up on him and the love she had for him had never changed since.

Losing her was difficult as it felt like a big part of himself was taken away, especially when it happened so suddenly.

He lived his life every single day carrying the great regret of not being able to spend the final days of her life with her because he was so caught up with work and climbing the corporate ladder. He knew all she wanted was to see her son one last time but he had failed to fulfil that wish before she took her very last breath.

Magnus remembered how crushed he was when he finally made it home but was only greeted by his mother’s cold, lifeless body. He remembered how he had closed himself up in his room for a day, crying his heart out before having the courage to finally get out of the room again.

It stung his heart to think that Alec thought he did not know how it feel like to lose someone he dearly loved but he also knew Alec did not know him enough and that he might have blurted those hurtful words out of anger or frustration.

Still, he needed alone time to compose himself after the incident so he had sent his father home first and decided to do the closing and cleaning of the shop for him.

Listening to Stevie Wonder seemed to always sooth his soul whenever he needed to. He always loved how positive and cheerful most of his songs were. Most of all, it reminded him of the days he would sing and twirl along to the songs with his mother in the kitchen when he was a little boy.

He couldn’t help but to sing along to the tune, mimicking the singing full of expression, shutting his eyes, swaying his butt while spinning and flipping the mop from one hand to the other like it was his imaginary microphone.

_“La la la la la la_   
_La la la la la la_

_My Cherie Amour, lovely as a summer's day_  
 _My Cherie Amour, distant as the Milky Way_  
 _My Cherie Amour, pretty little one that I adore_  
 _You're the only girl my heart beats_ _for_  
 _How I wish that you were mine_

_In a cafe or sometimes on a crowded street_   
_I've been near you, but you never notice me_

_My Cherie Amour, won't you tell me how could you ignore_   
_That behind that little smile I wore_   
_How I wish that you were mine”_

Only after he was done with half the song, he opened his eyes and realised he was near the door and there stood Alec, on the other side of the glass door, looking in at him, smiling and shaking his head in amusement.

He felt his cheeks all heated up in embarrassment and wanted to bury himself somewhere. But leaving Alec out in the cold might be the worst idea right now. So he quickly gathered himself and unlocked the door for him.


	11. Chapter 11

Alec had arrived at Mr. Bane’s very late at night, after having an internal debate for hours on whether or not to come out to apologise to Magnus for being an asshole to him. 

Returning the jacket seemed like a perfect excuse too, he thought to himself. 

When the car pulled to a stop by the road side, he took a deep, long breath and braced himself for an angry outburst from Magnus when he sees him. Magnus must have hated him. He might be in there plotting for a revenge or a murder of Alexander Lightwood, he thought. 

But as soon as he got closer to the shop and had a peek through the glass door, he felt his lip curled up to a smile, but only for a mere few seconds, before he couldn’t contain himself and burst out giggling. 

Magnus was dancing and singing in the shop like a real performer, all by himself. The way he moved was awfully amusing yet adorable at the same time. 

Next thing he knew, Magnus noticed him and looked like he had to frantically stopped everything he was doing to open the door for him. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your concert?” Alec teased with a mischievous grin, as he walked himself into the shop, causing Magnus to blush embarrassingly. 

Magnus bit his lower lip, brushed his hair with his fingers and was looking a little uneasy. “I um... Kitchen’s closed actually... What can I help you with?” He asked, hoping to divert the topic of his ‘concert’ to something else. 

“Oh! First of all, thank you...” Alec passed him his jacket that he was so kind to lend him a while ago and took a seat on one of the chairs. “And urm... I came to apologise... I’m sorry for my behaviour just now... I shouldn’t have take it out on you like that...”

“Well, you don’t have to...” Magnus said, as he went ahead to lower down the volume of the song and walked towards the chiller to fetch two bottles of beer and settled right across Alec at the small dining table. 

“I... I heard about your mom’s passing and I know I shouldn’t have...”

“You didn’t know... So don’t worry about it,” Magnus raised his bottle of beer as it clanked with Alec’s and they both took a sip of their alcohol and immediately grimaced in response. 

They let out a unison chuckle. 

“Not quite a beer drinker, hey?” Magnus asked, smiling. 

“I prefer wine...” Alec said. 

“Well I guess I prefer tea and coffee...”

Alec smiled and looked up, giving the humble shop a scan - it was the first time he actually got to look at it properly. Maryse was right, the newly-renovated shop screamed hipster, from the use of pastel colours to the fonts on the menu board - it’s as though he was in a cafe on a sunny island cafe somewhere in Hawaii. And to think it was a Chinese take-out was ridiculous, but in a good way. 

“Alec... I don’t mean to pry... But, if you don’t mind sharing, what happened just now?” Magnus asked, breaking the silence. 

“Ahhh... It was just a message from my ex asking me to pick up my stuff from his place... We broke up recently...”

“Hmmm... Your ex... Was she the reason you were suicidal?”

“It was he” Alec paused, still feeling the anxiety of revealing his sexuality, like he had always been over the past few years. “He was probably the main reason...”

“Oh...”

Alec let out an exasperating sigh. “I was just feeling a little overwhelmed I guess... I had to watch one of my best mates died in Iraq although we go out prepared for this but when it really happened...” He paused. “And as though that wasn’t enough, I came home to a boyfriend cheating on me while I was away...” Alec was surprised at how he was willing to spill his story with Magnus and felt a sense of relief as soon as he let it all out. 

“I may not have the exact same experience as you, but I understand...” Magnus paused. “But no offence, first thing first, unless your ex is as hot as Brad Pitt or something like that, I don’t think dumbass like him is worth dying for so thank goodness you survive!” 

They both exchanged a chuckle. 

“But as cliche as it may sound, I believe everything happens for a reason...” Magnus continued. 

Alec looked up at Magnus, more curious than ever to find out what he was trying to say. 

Magnus turned over and gave him a faint but hopeful smile. “When my mom passed away, I’ve questioned god, for days, or for weeks, why take her away instead of so many awful people out there. But if it wasn’t for her passing, I would never ever get to see my dad crying like a baby at her funeral, I would never know how vulnerable he could be...”

“And it suddenly struck me that life is so fragile, and that he is the only family I have left and as much as I hate to admit, he is only getting older... Which made me realise life is more than just work, work and work and money, money and money...”

“Which was why you quit your job and came to help him out?” Alec said. 

“Well... Something like that. I have to go back to work one day but I want to make sure we spend enough time before I regret it one day, you know what I mean?”

Alec nodded. 

“My father and I had never been this close until now, and I think I have my mom to thank for that,” Magnus said, tilting his head up like he was talking to his mother in heaven. 

This was only the third time they’ve met and Alec could feel so much connection between him and Magnus and he somehow find it really heart-warming to be listening to Magnus just like this. 

“So... What I’m trying to say is... There are probably better things ahead of you, especially after you coming back from death!” Magnus continued. 

“Hopefully...” Answered Alec, as he took another small sip of the beer. 

“When do you need to go pick up your stuff? I can come with you if you need someone to be there...” Magnus offered. 

“Oh... You don’t have to...”

“Well the shop doesn’t open until evening time, and I don’t really need to be here every night too... Only thing is I might have to drive the shop’s van if you don’t mind... It might be helpful if you have a lot of stuff...”

“Really?”

“Yeah... If you need some moral support or physical help with carrying your stuff!”

“Oh... Then thank you!” Alec said, clinking their beer bottles once again. 

They went on to chat for a long time after that - nothing heavy, just usual chit chat, but it made Alec realise he had not been talking, smiling and laughing so much like tonight for a very long time now. 

And the fact that they had set a date to meet up again to pick up his stuff from James’ made him feel so happy inside he couldn’t help but grinned to himself as he drove himself home that night.


	12. Chapter 12

Alec could hear himself let out a sigh of relief as soon as he threw the box of belongings at the back of the van.

There were still a lot of emotions running through his mind, stepping into James’ apartment again, and then stepping out with his belongings in his arms, like this was it, this was the end of everything. He was relieved that he didn’t bump into James, he was relieved that he did not break down, but most of all, he was relieved that Magnus was here with him. He knew he probably didn’t need anybody by his side for such a simple errand, but Magnus being there with him had unknowingly made him feel some peace at heart.

He closed the back door, and hopped onto the front of the van, sitting next to Magnus, who was his driver for the day, and let out an impulsive sigh.

“Everything okay?” He heard Magnus asked.

“Yeah... I guess,” he answered, simply.

The next thing he heard was the song that was playing in the van and he immediately felt his lips curling up into a smile.

“ _Everybody's got a thing_  
 _But some don't know how to handle it_  
 _Always reachin' out in vain_  
 _Accepting the things not worth having but_

_Don't you worry 'bout a thing_   
_Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama_   
_Cause I'll be standing on the side_   
_When you check it out_

_They say your style of life's a drag_   
_And that you must go other places_   
_But just don't you feel too bad_   
_When you get fooled by smiling faces but_

_Don't you worry 'bout a thing_   
_Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama_   
_Cause I'll be standing on the side_   
_When you check it out...Yeah_   
_When you get it off...your trip_   
_Don't you worry 'bout a thing...Yeah_   
_Don't you worry 'bout a thing...Yeah”_

Alec couldn’t help but shook his head slightly listening to the quirky tune that Magnus had put on. He knew, that Magnus had purposely turned on that song to cheer him up, even though he did not really need it.

“What do you want to do with those stuff?” Magnus asked, finger pointing at the box he had placed at the back seat.

“I... I don’t know?” He shrugged.

“What’s inside?”

“Mostly just clothings... Do you know of any charity boxes or disposing places? Maybe I should just donate them out?”

Magnus looked like he was taken aback. “You sure about that?”

“Yeah... I really should get rid of them and move on.”

“Attaboy!” Magnus gave him a pat on his shoulder, and drove them both off.

Moments later, as they were sipping their coffee sitting on a bench overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge, Alec felt his heart skipped a beat when Magnus suddenly inched closer to him.

“There is a leaf on your head,” said Magnus, as he removed the piece of green from his hair.

Alec couldn’t help but secretly hoped for Magnus to stay that close to him so he could enjoy his beautiful face a little longer.

“Oh thank you!”

“So, you’re retiring soon I heard, what’s the plan after retiring from the army?”

“Honestly, I don’t know? I’ve been in the army since I was what, 18? 19? The only other thing I know I’m good at is probably carpentry and I don’t know if I can use that for anything...”

“Hey! You can start with making a crib for Izzy’s baby!” Magnus interrupted.

“What?” Alec asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah like a baby crib! You’re the uncle, it would be very meaningful if the crib is personally made by you as a gift!”

Alec stared at Magnus for a good seconds before chuckling looking at how excited he looked like. “Ahhh... Actually... I haven’t thought about that... And it sounded like a great idea.”

“And if you want to keep it a secret, come make it at my dad’s place. Our backyard should be good for your secret little project,” suggested Magnus with a grin.

“Oh... Thank you! I mean, thanks for the idea too, Magnus...” Alec paused. “And you? Going back to accounting or starting a singing career?”

“Singing career?” Magnus let out a laugh and they both turned to look at each other.

It was that mere seconds that Alec noticed Magnus started blushing and although he couldn’t tell was he turning red because of what he said or because of the stare, he found it extremely cute.

Magnus broke the stare first in embarrassment. “Singing is just a hobby...”

“Don’t you try to put yourself down, you were really good that night,” Alec said.

“Thank you...” Magnus paused. “Talking about singing! There is a new cafe near our place that has live music every Friday and I heard some of the performers are pretty good. I haven’t been there yet... You wanna maybe go grab a cuppa this Friday?”

“Ahhh... Friday?”

“Yeah...” Magnus swallowed, feeling a little anxious about asking Alec out so suddenly. “I mean, just a suggestion... If you want to...”

Alec could feel butterflies in his stomach just seeing Magnus getting nervous about asking him out on a coffee date and he couldn’t remember when was the last time he felt this way for anyone. “Sure, I’m free Friday afternoon...” He answered.

“Oh... Great. It’s called Hunter’s Moon, just a block away from my dad’s shop. I’ll see you there at 2pm?”

“Yea sure, see you then,” he said, with a smile on his face and he could see the same smile mirrored on Magnus’ face.


End file.
